Actress Sarah Parish and her husband Jamie Murray have faced unimaginable grief, losing their first daughter, Ella-Jayne, when she was just eight months old in January 2009. Ella-Jayne was born with a severe heart defect, Rubinstein-Taybi syndrome, which caused a large hole in her heart and a defective heart valve. She spent the first four months of her life in intensive care, surrounded by medical professionals at Southampton Hospital.
In a heart-wrenching interview, Sarah, 57, opened up about how the tragic loss of their daughter shaped their lives and their relationship. She and Jamie, who share two other children, found a way to deal with their grief that would also honor Ella-Jayne’s memory. Later that year, they became parents to their second daughter, Nell, which brought some joy into their lives amidst the overwhelming sorrow.
However, Sarah and Jamie have dedicated themselves to ensuring that Ella-Jayne’s legacy lives on through their charitable work. In 2016, Sarah spoke publicly about how they decided to thank the doctors, nurses, and medical staff who cared for Ella-Jayne by raising money for the paediatric intensive care unit at Southampton Hospital, where their daughter spent her final days.
“Grief Is a Personal Thing”
In an interview with The Guardian, Sarah explained: “Grief is a personal thing. Jim and I knew we had to deal with Ella-Jayne’s death in our own way. So we went to Cambodia to work in an orphanage for a couple of months, and then we set up a charity, the Murray Parish Trust.”
This moment marked the beginning of their incredible fundraising efforts, which have since raised over £5 million for children’s health services. In 2022, Sarah and Jamie sat down on This Morning to discuss how their efforts began.
Sarah shared, “When Ella-Jayne passed, we felt we couldn’t walk away from the hospital without giving something back to the surgeons, doctors, nurses, and all the incredible people that helped us and her so much.” She added: “And so we started doing a couple of sponsored walks, and a cake bake sale… and then 10 years later we’ve turned into a full-time charity.”
Reflecting on their achievements, Sarah smiled modestly: “It has snowballed, somewhat.” Their charity work has been instrumental in funding new equipment for the children’s emergency and trauma department, helping to provide life-saving resources for young patients in the region.
How the Grief Almost Destroyed Their Marriage
In addition to the charity work, Sarah has also been open about the toll Ella-Jayne’s death took on her marriage. Writing in The Mail in 2017, Sarah revealed how the grief of losing a child almost led to the breakdown of her relationship with Jamie.
She wrote: “Such an incredible loss inevitably puts an enormous strain on a relationship because people grieve in different ways. It would take the most emotionally mature people to be able to cope in that situation, and to comfort one another in the correct way. We have made mistakes and done things that don’t work for each other – and you either end up together, or you don’t.”
Sarah continued: “The day she died, she took a bottle for the first time; she held our gaze and smiled into our eyes. For Jim and I, it was very, very difficult. It left a huge hole in our lives. I now know that losing a child is the hardest thing to happen to anyone; that we had never experienced tragedy before she died. We had never truly understood grief or loss.”
The toll of their daughter’s death was so great that Sarah confessed they “did things that didn’t work for each other.” Despite this, Sarah and Jamie were able to stay together. “The pressure of grief is such that either you end up separating or, miraculously, you don’t. Jim and I have remained together despite some terrible, terrible times.”
A Legacy of Hope
Through their remarkable efforts with the Murray Parish Trust, Sarah and Jamie have turned their heartbreak into a force for good. The money they’ve raised has funded equipment that directly benefits children who need urgent care, and it has brought them a sense of peace amid the pain of losing their daughter.
Looking back, Sarah said: “It’s the hardest thing to happen to anyone, but we’ve done our best to keep going. Ella-Jayne will never be forgotten, and this charity is our way of keeping her spirit alive.”
As they continue their charitable work, Sarah and Jamie are an inspiration to others who have experienced similar losses. Their commitment to giving back, while navigating their own grief, shows the incredible resilience of the human spirit.
