Scott Mitchell has opened up with rare candour about the pain he endured when he went public with his relationship with EastEnders actress Tanya Franks — admitting he was “really hurt” by the backlash and the judgement that followed at a time he was simply trying to rebuild his life.

The 62-year-old, who cared for Dame Barbara Windsor for six years and was married to her for two decades until her death in 2020, said people were quick to cast judgement without understanding the toll grief takes. He recalled how, as soon as he confirmed his new relationship, the comments began: someone would always say “that was quick”, a phrase he says cuts deeper than many realise. He reflected that people on social media “forget their words can really hurt”.

Scott and Tanya grew close while campaigning side by side for dementia awareness after Barbara’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis. Tanya — best known as Rainie Cross on EastEnders — had worked with Barbara before the actress’s health sharply declined, and had also experienced heartbreak herself when her stepfather Derek died in 2024 after an 11-year battle with the disease. Scott said one of the things he treasures most is Tanya’s openness: she allows him to talk about Barbara whenever he needs to, and he does the same for her. He said he never has to “second-guess” whether it’s the right moment to mention his late wife, and if he thought it hurt Tanya in any way, “I wouldn’t do it”.

He also shared that Barbara would have approved of his new relationship, as she genuinely “liked” Tanya. The couple will spend Christmas with their families but emphasise it will also be a moment of remembrance — “as it should be”.

Scott remains deeply marked by the years he lived as Barbara’s carer. He said the memory that haunts him most is “the terror in Barbara’s eyes when she didn’t know where she was, who I was — who she was”. No human being, he says, should ever have to leave the world in such confusion, which is why he insists we must “keep talking about it”.

Their friendship began years ago through “Bab’s Army”, where they raised hundreds of thousands of pounds for Alzheimer’s charities. Tanya even ran the London Marathon in Barbara’s honour. She has openly supported Scott’s decision to keep discussing the disease, saying communication is what helps families and carers feel less alone.

Scott said today he is “incredibly happy”, and that staying unhappy out of guilt “won’t bring Barbara back”. He stressed that life is for the living, even if there will always be someone online ready to remark, “Oh, it didn’t take him long”.